December 15th: Susan Greenfield
You get a lot of fictional pop culture stories about
Christmas. Some are good,
some are crap, some are surprisingly violent, but the
common factor that unites a lot of them is that there is often a character or
some sort of body that, whether by design or by consequence, seems hell-bent on
ruining Christmas for everyone involved.
Scrooge,
the Grinch, King
Herod, all fictional characters (apart from Herod) who's selfish desires
mean they are at best nonplussed, at worst pleased about the fact that their
actions ruin Christmas for innocent people. King Herod could, arguably, plead
ignorance given the context, and also given the fact that it's unlikely that he
did any of that stuff in the Bible, but that's by the by.
Of course, in the real world, we don't have people who would
be so honest about their festive-cheer-destroying actions. Ruining Christmas is
frowned upon. But then, some people still do their best.
We can't eat
too many of those treaty things, that's bad for you. Don't undercook the
Turkey, that's probably poisonous.
Drinking too much? Don't do that, you'll probably die. Have you not
spent enough on gifts? then you're ruining
the economy. Have you spent too much on gifts? Then you're stupid for
not having enough money saved for the months ahead. Are you a Christian?
Then how dare you not appreciate Jesus enough at this time of year. Are you not
a Christian? Then how dare you not appreciate
Jesus enough at this time of year. And on it goes.
But at least, once all the health and morality concerns have
weighed down on you with their guilty burdens, you can enjoy some time playing
with your gifts (if you're a child), or playing with the children's gifts (if
you're not). Nothing wrong with that, surely? With all the other guilt-inducing
health-destroying elements of Christmas, a bit of harmless play is fine, right?
No. It's not. So say's Baroness Susan Greenfield,
previously celebrated Neuroscientist, tabloid darling and apparent nemesis of
all things technological and fun. In
this society, most entertainment items are a lot more high tech than they used
to be. But that's bad! Anything that over stimulates you, anything that might
be enjoyable that comes with a plug or battery (within reason, pervs) is bad
for young minds, because it might corrupt them in some
ill-defined way.
Susan Greenfield is seemingly opposed to anything which
needs a screen to work. Be it video
games (except the ones
she makes money from, presumably), the internet,
or even porch doors (possibly). That last one might seem like a wild accusation
based on nothing, but that seems to be the way she does business. I've made my
opinions on Greenfield's views quite
clear before now, so please see that if you want a thorough critique of why
her views are so much hot air. But it bears repeating here as it's a Christmas,
and you might possibly end up letting kids enjoy their new games worry free,
and we can't have that now can we?
So keep it in mind, if you see a child enjoying themselves
with something electronic this Christmas, be sure to wrench it from their gasp,
berate them for befouling their young minds with too much stimulation, and kick
them outdoors to play, where it's clearly just as stimulating, but colder and
with more dog crap, so it doesn't count for some reason.
Next time, Andrew Wakefield explains to us how coloured
fairy lights lead to diabetes and premature balding (in men and women)
Twitter: @garwboy
No comments:
Post a Comment