December 13th: The Periodic Table
One phrase that keeps popping up a lot during Christmas is ‘making
a list, checking it twice’. This suggests a few things, namely that Santa
Clause has a LOT of time on his hands. Making a list of every eligible child on
earth, that’s an arduous task, and possibly a never-ending one considering the
birth rate of human society (let alone checking it twice). I would suggest that
it’s unlikely that he could ever have it done within the space of single year,
when you include the births, accidental deaths and children graduating from
childhood to teenage/cynical phase that occur constantly throughout the year.
It’s like painting that
bridge.
But then again, if we’re starting to go through all the
things that Santa claims to be able to achieve that aren’t logically possible,
that is, ironically, a list that’s never going to end.
Speaking of ongoing, overly complex lists, science has one
in the form of the periodic table. Never mind checking it twice, the periodic
table has been ‘checked’ countless times, with adjustments being made whenever
required. Much like Christmas gift lists, it was all much simpler in the old
days. It was just a block of wood and an orange then (or Earth, wind, fire and
water from an elemental perspective). But these days it’s all PS3 games and
tamagotchis! And in terms of the periodic table, it’s noble
gasses, transition
metals and transuranium
elements. Particularly with regards to the latter, it’s hard to check them
twice when, being the products of nuclear
reactions, they have a fraction of a second. But saying that, some have a
half life of millions of years. So, you know, no rush.
But how could I summarise the complexity and detail of the periodic
table in an understandable and entertaining way in just one blogpost?
I can’t. Simple as that. So instead, here’s the awesome
science rapper Jon Chase to do it in the form of rap for
you. Merry Christmas.
Twitter: @garwboy
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